The Lonely Man

Me + Boredom + A bottle of Wine + Free Time = This Animation

Dance Your Dignity Off

I seen this in the subway recently.



Another TV show about people losing weight hits the screens. "Dance Your Ass Off". I presume it will not be watched by the record & growing 1 Billion people starving to death around the globe. Another reason I'm glad I currently have no TV.

I don't believe in evolution. I believe it happened in the past but I don't believe it is happening now.

Interview

I just had an interview posted for a website called Stand-Up Comedy 101 by Slava Yaryshkin.

You can read it here

I hope you like it, I really do, I really really hope you like it. I'm worried. Please like my interview! Oh god I made a fool of myself didn't I?

I can't fake it anymore..

I hate the band everyone else seems to love.

I hate The Kings of Leon.



There I said it. I also hate the following in no particular order:
St. Patrick's Day
People speaking foreign languages in front of me
The Wind
Rap
Crowds
Burps
Jelly fish
Crocodiles
Spiders
Heights
Sport
American Malls
Apple Tart
Hipsters
Dentists
Hoboken
The Jersey Shore
People who brew their own beer
Most of Long Island
All Middle Class People
Anyone with two or more cell phones
Texting
Talking on the phone
Americans who don't think America is great
Negative people
Fake diseases - OCD/ACHD/ Fibromyalgia
Ethnic/Sexual/misogynistic/homophobic/anger/negative based comedy
TV
Republicans/Fox News
Actors (one or two exceptions)
Small Places
A frighteningly large amount of white people
People who see you then pretend they don't
Bullies
People I have lent money to
Bad actors on The Actors Studio
People who say they always wanted to play an instrument but never tried.
Bagpipes
Madonna
Culchies
Angelina Jolie
Crazy Irish Americans
Brad Pitt
Nirvana and Everyone who liked them
Kevin Spacey
The sun just after it rains
Ralph Fiennes

To be continued...

Rap Music

A little something I discovered on a great British TV show called "Look Around You". Check it.

St. Paul's Letter to the Corinthians

What most people DO know of is the endless letters St. Paul sent to the Corinthians. I remember as a child hearing them read out in church.

What most people DON'T know is the letter from the Corinthians to St. Paul:

"Dear St. Paul, please take us off your mailing list. Regards, The Corinthians."

Brooklyn, why so sad?

Saturday I made my way to Williamsburg to leave my treasured Martin DCME Guitar in to get fixed. My aggressive playing style and very humid weather resulted in a much needed set up/fine tuning/adjustment/something. As I walked through williamsburg from the L train south something struck me as I passed the super trendy bars, deli's, restaurants, and stores. Why is everyone so fucking miserable? If this is the place to be, how come the residents look like their being held there against their will?

I dropped the guitar off and didn't find the people particularly friendly. As I walked back I took a detour were upon I found a beautiful little park right on the water. It was raining lightly and the east river resembled white water rapids. Myself, a young girl reading and three hasidic Jewish guys found a moment of peace.

My aggravation was just leaving me in the light rain when a rapper proceeded to shoot a music video right behind me. I hadn't noticed the Two camera guys setup. The boom box blasted out that awful noise that was him rapping. He pulled some shapes and sang/mimed along as the camera guys filmed away. Seconds later a white stretch hummer pulled up with a gaggle of young women/his bitches and burst from it like confetti from a clown's cannon. I'm done! I left. The faces on the hasidic Jews was, well, priceless. I walked back through the miserable sodden faced pseudo poor struggling artistic elite over hearing one mundane conversation after the next. Example:

A Young white quiet man with chatty Asian wife pushing a baby in a buggy. An older man in his Fifties walking slightly ahead of them.

Asian Woman: Um, have you seen the movie Superbad?

Older Guy: (Shouting) NO I HAVE NOT!

Asian Woman: (Apologetic) I think you'd like it...(trails off)


I stumble across The Surf Bar which is as great as my girlfriend repeatedly tells me. I enter and grab a beer at the bar and watch the rain outside. My guitar will be ready next Thursday, I hope they don't screw it up. I listen to the regulars and grab a second. A girl sets fire to her hair by leaning over a candle on the bar. Minor panic. The guys to my right get hammered on cocktails and all I want to do is stay the evening and listen some more. People talk about the strange burning smell. I pull out the book I'm reading and finish the last chapter. Ignore Everybody by Hugh MacLeod. Williamsburg may not be for me but it's never not interesting.

I ride the subway home with a bag full of song lyrics I wrote ten years ago. I wouldn't even know who that person is anymore. I switch at Union and arrive in the hustle and bustle of Astoria. The florescent fruit stalls light up the wet ground. Manic laughter blasts from the Athens Cafe. The people in my building smile and say hello. I pick up my old cheap guitar, the one I played for years and try to sing over the opera singer doing scales in the apartment across the courtyard. No luck. He's getting better, not bad for a waiter. It is nice to live amongst people who love to live where they live. The real working class smile. If the rain stops I'll go for a walk around my neighbourhood, that always cheers me up.